I woke up confused…
My body felt so heavy in the morning and I didn’t want to get out of bed.
I was scared.
Scared about the future.
And scared about what I would be doing after graduating from NYU.
I felt like a failure.
I wasn’t producing content anymore.
I wasn’t motivated to work on my business.
But what is failure?
I thought failure was me not running my business.
It was not helping people through content or posts…
I thought that if I only created more and served the world, that the internal happiness would come back.
But, that's not how it works.
One night I stumbled upon a video of JK Rolwing giving a speech at Harvard Commencement.
She eco’d the worlds of plutarch when she said -
“What you achieve inwardly, changes outer reality”.
And so - I knew that I needed a change.
I sat down and wrote out a 50 day Challenge.
For the next 50 days,
No more alcohol
Morning Routine and Gym
Complete 1 Assignment per day
Over the next 50 days, I started to find myself again…
I launched season 2 of my podcast
And began working on the dress shirt idea that I had for the last 2 months
I started to appreciate the small things.
By showing up for myself, I started to feel happy again.
I no longer created to serve others, I only created to serve myself.
The idea that I had was of - Practice
A concept that there is no destination…
There is only the journey of learning and growing.
I put all of that energy into creating my dress shirts.
To not build something for the world,
But to build something for me.
A Dress Shirt for My Love of Business
The kimono-cut for my Filipino roots.
The name “Practice” as a reminder to fulfil my internal life instead of chasing outward satisfaction.
During this challenge, I learned that:
The most important thing that you can do is show up for yourself.
That there no finite game on the exterior that can satisfy your soul.
And to never forget that “what you achieve inwardly, changes outer reality”